My name is Jane. I am 23.
This blog outlines the chronicles of my life with Endometriosis.
This is me starting over. Or, trying to..
♡ ♡ ♡
Okay, so I haven’t written on here in a long time. A lot of stuff has happened, pretty much immediately after I last wrote I started full time work which was great for a few reasons.
One, because I actually managed to hold down a full time job and work through the pain - no sick days!!!! - whilst doing overtime almost every day, and two, because I fell completely in love with the most incredible person.
I had met Shaun previously when I had done a few days work at the place I am before, and I remember being attracted to him back then, finding him really sweet and having a lot in common with him, but since I was only there for a few days (the nature of the work I do is freelancing on different TV shows) and I had literally just been dumped by Yoni, I thought nothing of it as I obviously thought I’d never see him again. When I did start work again for the same company and saw him there, my heart went nuts and we basically fell for each other straight away.
Whirlwind romance, but I’ve never been happier in my entire life, I finally feel right with everything, and all my friends and family can see it too. Everyone sees something different in him, friends that have never liked my boyfriends in the past adore Shaun, my mother told me he was “the one” after she first met him, and I know this is the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I used to think people that did this after meeting someone were crazy. I used to get pissed off when people told me that I’d “just know” when I found the right person (because really, how can you “just know” anything?) but after meeting Shaun? This is the guy I’m going to marry.
My pain has been pretty on and off, ranging from god awful agony to not that bad. My periods have been a bit lighter ever since finishing on the TCM (actually even ranging towards “normal” in terms of flow) but the pain is still worse than ever. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
I think the thing that has changed the most in the past month or two has been my attitude. I feel so happy and carefree and lucky now that even when I’m in pain, I don’t care as much, because Shaun makes me feel so incredible that half of the time, I just don’t think about it as much. It’s still there and still sucks, but I feel like I finally have someone that will treat me like I’m supposed to be treated. He makes me feel safe and whole and right.
And it’s 2am, so that’s all for now, Tumblr :)
I haven’t blogged in a while, but there hasn’t really been much to update on my life at the moment.
Pain all the time, no relief. TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) hasn’t helped in the slightest. Like, not even an inch of relief. I honestly didn’t want to try it again after doing it for a while a year or two ago, but my Mum was so desperately hopefully that it would give me some relief I wanted to try just to make her happy.
Friend is moving in to the spare room at my place for a few months. Put together a monstrous Ikea wardrobe that made me want to kill myself! It was so big I ended up really over-exerting myself physically and I’m covered in bruises and my Endo is flaring up like nothing else.
Also got my period (FINALLY) for the first time in 70-ish days, which was an utter nightmare.. Don’t know what my body is doing. I’ve always been irregular but that was just insane.
Had quite a good flow of freelance retouching work coming in which gave me a bit of cash, which was nice. Also, I was really getting to my wit’s end with trying to find a job, and on a morning I was feeling probably the lowest and most useless I have in a long time, I got a call from the people who I did the freelance work for The Voice asking if I would do a few months more worth on Beauty and the Geek, which I agreed to immediately! They have been amazingly accepting of me and my illness and I was so happy to get more work from them.. And hoping it will lead to good things. So, I’m excited to start working full time in a week.
My 24th birthday is coming up in a few weeks, which should be fun. Going to an amazing South African restaurant/bar that is owned by a few old family friends of mine with about 15 friends which should be a fun night, and then my parents arrive to come see my extremely belated (due to my laparoscopy!) graduation ceremony.
This week I’ve booked in finally to see a psychologist about how Endo has impacted my life. Funny, I’ve been concentrating so much on trying to heal my physical self I’ve completely neglected myself emotionally and found myself really depressed. So I’m hoping this lady I’m going to see (I’ve never seen her before).
Also sadly have to go to a funeral at the end of the week of an old family friend who passed away from cancer :(
One day at a time..